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For Sis by Lea Smith
The year 1989 was the most memorable year for me. Well, itâs because this was the year my little sister, Joanne, was born.
I had myself kneeling at my Momâs feet, begging her that I must have a new âplaymateâ, telling her, âMomma! Momma! Can I ask you a favor?â I said with all smiles.
âYes, sweetie. Sure. What is it?â She said after picking me up and putting me on her lap.
âUmm, are you 100% sure youâll do this for me, Momma?â
âWell, if youâre asking me to give you a car for your birthday, then thereâs an odd chance youâre getting one, sweetie,â she smiled lightly.
I said, âNo way, Momma! I donât want a car. At least not right now. When Iâm older maybe. Thirteen?â
âIâll have to think about that, honey. A bike would be much nicer,â she said as she kissed my forehead.
After a long pause, she realized that I was still sitting on her lap, remembering the real reason why I had been there in the first place.
âSo, how about it, Katie? Whatâs this favor you want from Momma?â
I smiled and said, âMomma, I want to have a baby sister.â
Her eyes grew big with shock, but managed to bring out the smile Iâve grown to love. And with that, I knew that I had gotten what I wanted.
So now, here we are. My little sister and Iâ"doing almost everything together. I was there for her, she was there for me. Although she was too young to give me advice when it comes to teen problems (boyfriend issues and the like), she was there to give, if not the best, then one of the best hugs on earth. Not only is she a good listener, but sheâs also a teacher, too! Well, somewhat.
She taught me how to play those games youâd see online: Spongebob Squarepants, Warcraft, you name it. Joanneâs like this game master champ. You give her a game, she gives you a gold medal. That simple. Thatâs why a lot of people are intimidated to play with her because of that skill. And I think, Iâm the only one whoâs brave enough to play against her. Even though I know what my fate will be after each game.
One game she recommended for a non-loving combat player like me was Bratz games. These games were the type Iâd like to spend my time on. I was happy because she recommended a game that wouldnât require me to kill a civilian or a zombie this time.
Bratz games definitely brought out the âinner girlâ in me. I never imagined this would be better than Diner Dash or Feeding Frenzy. And you know what, all you need is just a flash player and then youâre set for playtime!
The Bratz games I constantly play are Cloe form Bratz, Bratz Makeover and Bratz Makeup. They are totally fun, time-consuming in a good way (if youâve got nothing to do). And these Bratz games donât just offer blood and guts-free games, they also bring out the creativity in you.
The Bratz Makeup game lets me beautify my Bratz doll to its prettiest potential. It even lets me practice with lipstick colors and eye shadows that would blend nicely with different hair colors and skin tones.
At present, though I am 19 years old and definitely everybodyâs college girl, I still believe that nothing in this world could replace the fun I have with my family (especially with my sister) and the fun I still have every time I come across Bratz games!
Lea Smith is a bratz dolls enthusiast and she loves to play various Bratz Games . She is also the webmaster of www.bratzgames.biz wherein you can find tons of great online flash games to play.
Article Source: http://www.earticlesonline.com/Article/For-Sis/446973
What is wrong with this paraghraph?
A young girl looks at a fashion magazine she see clothes modeled by women by women who weigh one hundred and fifteen pounds although they are nearly six feet tall. One Day, she recives a "teen doll." As a present and studies its proportions. The doll have legs nearly two-thirds the length of its body it also has a tiny waist and nonexistent hips and thighs. When she go to the movies, the screen's "sheros" resemble adolescent boys more than mature woman.
Hmm, judging by this writing, it seems like your writing is suffering from these problems:
1. Run-on sentences, 2. subject-verb agreement (especially number), 3. punctuation, 4, word choice, 5. orthography (spelling), and 6. sentence structure.
I might try to explain all, but here is the corrected version:
A young girl looks at a fashion magazine. She sees clothes modeled by women, by women who weigh one hundred and fifteen pounds - even though they are nearly six feet tall. One day, she receives a "teen doll" as a present; she then studies its proportions. The doll has legs nearly two-thirds the length of its body; it also has a tiny waist and virtually nonexistent hips and thighs. When she goes to the movies, the "sheros" on the screen resemble adolescent boys more than mature women.
________
