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11 Age-appropriate Ways To Handle Separation Anxiety In Children by Steven Chang
For the first few months of existence, babies can not distinguish caregivers from strangers. When they cry, they can easily be calmed and comforted by any man or woman who make them feel loved and protected, regardless of relationship. By around 6 to 8 months, babies can now identify their primary care giver and know that there is only one Mommy and Daddy. Hence, once the child is offered by his parents to be carried by someone unfamiliar to him, the little one begins to cry, inconsolable by any person except his parents. This period of the baby's growth is referred to as "stranger anxiety".
As the child starts to outgrow stranger anxiety, he would then have to pass through yet another phase of social development referred to as "separation anxiety". Separation anxiety occurs when the baby, who has developed emotional attachment and security with his mother and father, feels troubled when his parents are gone. A baby can show his anxiety in a lot of behaviors such as crying, shyness, clinginess, unusual silence, and unwillingness to interact with other familiar individuals close to him.
Though separation anxiety is normal and temporary, the baby need to be helped in some ways. Separation may be observed by the kid as a traumatic and distressful occasion in his life, which can have a lasting psychological and emotional effect. Right here are some methods to alleviate a child's separation anxiety.
For babies and toddlers:
1. If you plan to leave, schedule it right after the baby's nap or feeding. It is observed that babies are less vulnerable to anxiety when they are full and fresh from a nap.
2. Acclimatize your infant by training separation for shorter periods and distances. A great example is when your little one tries to head off to the kitchen and you are left in the living room, wait around for several minutes before going after him. By doing this, you are developing his feeling of independence.
3. If you are a working parent, have your child a consistent main caregiver. It is very best that you leave your kid with a caregiver who can be there for your kid from infancy into toddlerhood.
4. If you need to leave your child temporarily under the care of a relative, it is better to ask your relative to come to your house, instead of dropping your baby off to your relative's house.
5. Try to create a consistent "goodbye" habit (e.g. basic wave or a special kiss) and tell him that you need to go and that you should be back again really soon. Avoid repeating your goodbye ritual every single time you go away. This can only make your child more uncomfortable and insecure.
6. Most of all, maintain a calm, strong and positive attitude toward your kid every single time you leave. Kids are highly sensitive to your facial expression and can understand from your voice and gestures. Showing your kid that you are also emotionally affected will only reinforce anxiousness in your child.
For young kids:
7. Establish trust and security with your kid by honoring time commitments. For instance, be sure to pick him up from day care or return home at the specified time. In this way, he will feel that your word can be trusted, so that the next time you leave and say that you will be back, the kid could feel less uneasy simply because he is already convinced that you will certainly be back as promised.
8. Make your child feel that you care regarding his emotions by telling him that you will miss him too every single time you go away. Make an effort to explain why you need to leave him briefly (e.g. you need to go to work so your can buy him milk), but assure him that you should be back very soon.
9. Read your child with children's story books which tell about courageous characters, and cite those instances when he was courageous and has done something independently just like the hero in the tale. Role-playing has a big effect in molding the child's behavior.
10. When separation is set at a later date and you plan to have him taken cared of by a relative, it is very best to talk to your child about it in advance. Help him prepare for that day by anticipating positive outcomes and telling him how you can be reached if necessary.
11. If possible, make a call and talk to your kid over the mobile phone while you are away. Ask him how he is doing and tell him about feel-good stories. Hearing your voice could make him feel secure and less anxious.
Keep in mind, young children should normally outgrow separation anxiety by age 5. By then, they are able to spend time in the absence of their mothers and fathers with less stress and anxiety. Helping your kid ease his separation anxiety will enable him to get exposed to the real world, to experience life to the fullest and to discover new things and horizons.
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Article Source: http://www.earticlesonline.com/Article/-11-Age-appropriate-Ways-To-Handle-Separation-Anxiety-In-Children/1074130
