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Baby Onboard: Will This Child Fit in the Overhead Compartment? (thepoliticker.observer)
“Why is that baby being such a _dick_?”
This was in 2009. My husband, Jeff, and I were on our way to Berlin, and a
toddler a few rows ahead of us was voicing dissatisfaction with his sudden
corporeal confinement by making the sorts of noises Janis Joplin might have
produced had she lived to accidentally stick her hand into a garbage disposal.
I rolled my eyes and returned to my _US Weekly_ and Delta-issue merlot. “I
know. What an asshole.”
John Lennon once sang of instant karma. But in my case, it took three years.
My friend Aileen, who is Filipina, got engaged while I was pregnant. When she
announced that the wedding—to an outdoorsy Minnesotan she met at business
school—would take place in her homeland, the terror of such a trip _avec bébe_
did not immediately dawn on me. When we bought our tickets, of course, the
baby was infinitely portable. The only accoutrements he required were a strip
of black elastic that served as a table leaf for the waistband of my jeans and
a thick roll of Tums.
But then he was _out_, squirmy and squalling and requiring approximately twice
as many ...
thepoliticker.observer